Ding FIre
Finally, it makes sense.
One of the most constant explorations I engage in is the exploration of self.
"Who am I?"
It started out as curiosity. First with "BuzzFeed-style" quizzes like "Which FRIEND are you?" before buzz feed was a thing. I eventually moved on to more "serious" personality tests like the MBTI or Enneagram.
Fascinating insights. Many resonant descriptions. But they didn't feel exactly right.
In 2020, I discovered Human Design. It was my first true interaction with a birth chart type system. I had never given any weight to these types of charts but I was in an open-minded state of exploration and I pulled my chart.
Then I put it away for a year.
When I returned, I found that the chart spoke to me. It described experiences inside me that I had never been able to articulate in words. It was wild.
This exploration of Human Design carried me through the next five years. I learned to read Human Design charts, and used it to guide my own self-development.
But there was still something that wasn't exactly right.
I explored Western Astrology through the Co-Star Astrology app at first. I didn't want to learn a full new system, but I was curious in the daily readings. I found that the readings matched pretty close to my day to day experience. I also gave some attention to the transits of the planets to consider how planetary movements impacted my day to day life.
Just open minded exploration. Noticing patterns. Not putting too much stock into it.
But it still wasn't exactly right.
I learned a lot from these systems and its given me valuable insight but I couldn't feel my Human Design or Astrology. The teachings worked and it definitely explains my functioning. I could intellectually understand what was happening, but everything was processed through a layer of interpretation.
The gap was embodiment.
In March 2026, we in Hong Kong. I had spent downtime during the trip exploring my Western Astrology. Learning about my Scorpio Stellium and Libra Rising. My head was full of intellectualization. As we were heading to the gate in the airport, ready to return home after three weeks away, 八字 or the Four Pillars of Destiny came across my path. I don't even remember how it came up, but I looked up my 八字 chart and began consuming.
The system was based on the relationship between elements. It described the yin and yang manifestations of each element. It was easy to understand the relationship between elements because they were things that existed in physical life. Not unseen things like Energy Centres and Gates in Human Design, or Planets in Astrology.
Wood. Fire. Earth Metal. Water.
Elements that I had relation to. Something I could embody.
My Day Master is Ding Fire (丁火). This description describes my core identity. The yin manifestation of fire.
The Candle.
Lighting the dark in a defined space. Helping to see what needs to be seen.
It lined up with my Projector Aura. It spoke to the darkness that I carry through my Scorpio Stellium. Every personality test or birth chart was always confirmatory.
I could feel the resonance with my 八字.
What I needed was simple too. More fuel. Wood to feed the fire.
This stop on the journey is fresh, but it feels like home.
From the Shore
One of my deepest patterns is keeping things out at a distance. Defence. It was my default strategy. When the seas shook, I floated above so I wouldn't get wet.
The personality tests and birth charts were information to me. I engaged intellectually with the results, and tried to think my way out of problems. I wasn't standing on solid ground. I was floating above looking down.
I used an obsidian necklace for defence. A relic that blocked the bad energy. Keeping it all out. Keeping me floating outside of feeling. I was afraid to engage with the currents because I thought I would get swept away.
I put up walls.
I found a pagoda wood necklace in Akhiabara in 2025. It wasn't like anything I would have bought for myself before but it spoke to me. I was drawn to the wood but didn't know why.
Now I know that keeping things out only suffocates the flame.
The fire needs the fuel. With fuel, I can stand on the Shore and know that the Sea will never put out my Candle.
Your Move
Who are you really?
Which vegetable are you?